AUGUST 7, 2004
BASSIST KIDNAPPED
Chicago, IL - While in the studio, Shred Eagle has suffered a major blow. Philip Bynoe, the band's bassist known throughout the world for the LaBella strings used on his 7-string Yamaha, was kidnapped and is currently being held for ransom. The captors say they will kill Bynoe unless Shred Eagle agrees to stop recording its album. "We will not bow to terra or terraists," said Joe Yesterday, lead singer for the band. "We will miss Philip. However, if we change our recording schedule based on this threat, then the terraists win." When asked about the unprovoked attack upon Shred Eagle, Gary "Rock" Rose, the band's lead guitar player, could only muster, "We condemn the brutal murder of Philip Bynoe, which will likely happen soon because we aren't going to stop recording. I mean, we paid for a three-day lock-out." Shred Eagle has asked its fans to pray for Philip's safe return.
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